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by treichelle from Lake Mary, FL

Last Post 515 days, 22 hours Ago


Are Fantasies Cheating?
May 21, 2007 | 10:38 AM
Category: Entertainment
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When you're with someone for a couple of years things are bound to get stale....right? So when you're significant other starts fantasizing about someone else, is that cheating? Let's say he or she accidentally calls you the wrong name, is that grounds for a break-up? Does that mean there's a problem with your relationship? How would you react?  Before you ask, no it's never happened to me! But if it did I'm not sure my ego could handle it. I think I'd have to dump him and move on.
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Member Comments Total Comments: 16
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Arky51 read my blog view my photos
May 21, 2007 | 10:51 AM

Gotta be getting mighty close if they are not.
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FOXnHenHouse read my blog view my photos
May 21, 2007 | 10:52 AM

Depends on the situation. I think if you ask a psychologist, they'd tell you that fantasies are not only normal but healthy. IF, however, the person is thinking of someone else when they're being intimate with you, then yes, that is a problem.

If he calls you "Tyra" in passing because he was thinking of Tyra Banks, probably no biggie. But if he calls you "Theresa" his secretary at work...then maybe something's up.

So no, fantasizing is not cheating and not grounds for a break-up unless it reveals a deeper problem.

As for "getting stale" after a couple years. THAT sounds like the real problem! After a couple years you should be contemplating marriage not resigned to your fate. It's up to each person to keep things fun and exciting.
NEye4NEye read my blog
May 21, 2007 | 1:15 PM

I've slipped up and called my wife Trei on several occasions, and she hasn't seemed to mind........

Just kidding!!!!

Seriously though, as long as you are not living out your fantasies then I think it is okay. However, as FoxNHenHouse eluded to, it may point to a deeper problem.
Arky51 read my blog view my photos
May 21, 2007 | 1:25 PM

No two people are NATURALLY compatible. Both must work at it to make marriage work.

Marriage MUST BE based on commitment and trust. Based on anything else, and it is vulnerable in the extreme.

Love must be a decision. For marriage to survive and thrive, both must love when they don't FEEL like it . . . love when they do not like.

A contract is base upon a lack of trust.

A covenant is based on commitment to see it through regardless of what may come. "I do not know how we will work this out. I do not know how long it will take to work this out. But, we are committed . . . under a covenant . . . and divorce is not an option.

By the way, does it matter what Jesus said about fantasizing?
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DoninOrlando read my blog view my photos
May 21, 2007 | 1:25 PM

If you're thinking about it....it MAY lead to action. But, if you're relationship gets stale after a couple years...you're not with the right person.
droanx read my blog
May 21, 2007 | 1:32 PM

Arky I like how you said marriage is a covenant not a contract. That might be the problem with marriages today.

My wife and I know that there will be hard times. We will work through them like we have since we were dating.

I'd like to think that I am her best fantasy. I haven't heard otherwise.

I agree with what others are saying. If it is getting stale there is more trouble then you think.

We haven't had a stale day yet and it's been 5 years.
Arky51 read my blog view my photos
May 21, 2007 | 2:05 PM

Read About My Marriage

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FloridaBrit read my blog view my photos
May 21, 2007 | 2:27 PM

I dont really spend time fantasizing about a woman for a long time, I mean I might see a an attractive woman at work and think oh yeah Id love to etc etc, but after that I move on to my next one !
:-)
Gammies61 read my blog view my photos
May 21, 2007 | 7:37 PM

Fantasizing is usually about what color the kitchen walls would look best in.
Why would anyone want to fantasize about another, if they truly are with the one they love? If your heart is not in the relationship wholeheartedly, then maybe you should get out of it, and go after what you think will make you happy. The grass is not always greener on the other side.
di8828 read my blog view my photos
May 21, 2007 | 11:20 PM

Not a problem! I would respond back with the first name I thought of...
They had a life before you so you should expect some things that would need to change if you’re really interested! I still have Fantasies of My Knight...BOOP-OOP-A-DOOP...But I settled with a Steed instead!LOL
northton read my blog view my photos
May 22, 2007 | 7:08 AM

What do you mean. Heidi?
Heidi_Hatch read my blog view my photos
May 22, 2007 | 7:28 AM

HEY -HOW DID I GET THROWN IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS?
northton read my blog view my photos
May 22, 2007 | 11:02 AM

My memory has just been sold.
My anchor is the centerfold, my anchor is the centerfold.

Cause you are a cutie!
northton read my blog view my photos
May 22, 2007 | 11:05 AM

You, too, Trei, and Cheryl, and... Well, all of you ladies!

Not an ugly one in the bunch.
pattiep read my blog view my photos
May 22, 2007 | 4:57 PM

I've been married for nearly 38 years. Believe me sometimes thing get stale. I don't think a little fantasizing hurts a relationship, in fact it's healthy. My husband has never called me by another name, that would be the one thing that I would not put up with.
ramkrm1947 read my blog
May 23, 2007 | 8:08 AM

If not for fantasies, the divorce rate would be 90%!!!!!
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treichelle

I am the very proud mother of a daughter named Jordyn. She is the smartest, sweetest, funniest kid I've ever met (I guess I may be a little biased). We have three cats, Jazmyn, Jakob and Joshua. Jake is my favorite, he's a cat that act's like a dog! Seriously, he greets me at the door, fetches toys, and chews on my shoes!! Thanks for joining the my fox orlando community and I invite you to join my blog and speak your mind.

Member Since: 7/24/2006


 

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