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by signal12 from The Squirrel Cave

Last Post 162 days, 15 hours Ago


The Democratic Presidential Canidates 08'
Mar 22, 2008 | 6:20 PM
Category: Political
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Barack Obama Barack Obama Favorite Way To Mollify Supporters:
Nodding solemnly while gripping podium

Issues:
Pro-hopes, also supports dreams

Political Experience:
(2005–) Junior Senator from Illinois. Working directly under Senior Senator Richard Durbin himself, duties included fact-checking and copyediting the 2006 highway appropriations amendment bill. Member, Illinois State Senate (1997-2004)

Difficulty Catching A Cab:
Moderate

Personal Best For Getting Digits:
32 seconds

Odds Of Pop-Locking During Inauguration:
1 in 12
Key Issues
  • Health Care Promises to reduce cost of health care by demanding private insurance companies stop liking astronomical profits.
  • Iraq War Will have American soldiers tell the Iraqi soldiers that they're just going out for some smokes, and then sneak back home to America.
  • Abortion Did some crazy BLEEP in the '80's, not going to lie.
  • Immigration Would refuse to allow Kenyans to come to America, father children, abandon children, attend Harvard PhD programs, and return to Kenya.
  • Economy Will cut taxes, but occasionally hit up Oprah on behalf of treasury.
  • Climate Has an extensive five-year plan to charm climate back to normal temperatures.
  • Pakistaniran Guarantees improved relations with Kenya, Indonesia, Hawaii, and Illinois.
  • ---------------------------------------
Hillary Clinton Hillary Clinton Experience:
Husband secretly let her run country from 1997-1999

Reason For Presidential Bid:
Left some stuff at White House

Favorite Food:
Wheat slurry injected directly into her stomach

Signature Issue:
Becoming President of the United States

Murder Convictions:
3

Make-up Secrets:
Classified

Reproductive Process:
Squirts thousands of egg sacs into host intestine, then fertilizes them herself
Key Issues
  • Health Care "I am the only candidate who can claim experience on the issue of health care: an experience of glaring, humiliating failure dating back more than a decade."
  • Iraq War "I would never have voted for the war had we known it would become unpopular."
  • Abortion Has enforced at least two on Bill Clinton's other partners.
  • Immigration "I voted for the border fence because I believe in order to solve our immigration crisis we must first show immigrants how unwelcoming, hateful, and xenophobic America is."
  • Economy "We need to create new jobs in this country—green collar jobs that can help our economy and our environment. And I'd like to point out that that's my term—'green collar' jobs. See, I can come up with exciting phrases."
  • Climate Will double education spending so that our children will be ready to deal with the problem once it gets really bad.
  • Pakistaniran Voted to require 15 minutes' extra diplomacy before launching airstrikes.
16 Comments |  Add a Comment

Member Comments Total Comments: 16
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RNC08 read my blog view my photos
Mar 22, 2008 | 10:16 PM

I know I am not supposed to take this one seriously but , in saying that Obama will not raise taxes (even in jest) you run the risk of making people think you are not paying attention to him at all. In his last five speeches (excluding his so called apology for being a racist speech) he not only promised to raise taxes he promised to set a new record for raising them faster and higher than any president in over 80 years.....
As far as Hillary I am starting to wonder IF she is convicted in one of the 4 pending campaign fraud cases could her current job and or a victory in the presidential race be considered “proceeds of a crime” ?...and at the risk of being accused of kicking her while she is down , I am wondering why a supposedly smart woman would pull all the risky stunts she has pulled to raise funds instead of using the John Kerry / Obama “magic hat” trick where you just pull money out of no where and point in the general direction of the Internet when asked for verification (or just have China write another big check! )
signal12 read my blog view my photos
Mar 23, 2008 | 8:04 AM

RNC08~

This blog was a joke, To think that the Sheeple are voting for these two has me stumped.
RNC08 read my blog view my photos
Mar 23, 2008 | 9:33 AM

I know , fact is that in the future the word joke will be defined by the names Hillary or Obama. This pair makes Jimmy Carter look like a brain trust!...Hey I just had an idea, they would be perfect for a remake of the Abbot and Costello musical “Road to Morocco” !! You decide who plays the “straight man”...
Sageman read my blog
Mar 23, 2008 | 6:11 PM

Yah and John McCain is fricking Einstein. Have you seen his stance? Take carbon paper and scratch over Bush's and you got your next republican nominee. Yay! 4 more years of the same tired old Bush reforms that have destroyed our economy and ruined our reputation in the international community. I mean even our allies think we are joke now. God you guy's need to stop with the same tired hate mongering.
thewizard read my blog view my photos
Mar 23, 2008 | 10:44 PM

This rocked!
ramkrm1947 read my blog
Mar 24, 2008 | 1:07 AM

Better get used to them, one will be the president in November!
LLRucker read my blog view my photos
Mar 24, 2008 | 3:56 PM

Yeah I'd say you're right, McCain, Clinton or Obama will definitely be the next president. Question is which one?
Abunai read my blog view my photos
Mar 24, 2008 | 4:24 PM

Our reputation before Bush? You libs like being cowards and paper tigers then take your passport and move to Europe!

Democrats actually better start looking at the seats they hold in the Legislature! They promised you change back then and the end of a war, and all you libs actually bought it! Now here comes Obama and he is playing the same tired song and you are buying it AGAIN!

Bush restored the reputation of America after Clinton tossed it out the window! Fact is you libs hated Bush not because of his work, but because you were told to by your ridiculous biased media and anti-American groups like MoveON and DailyKOS!

You can't stand the fact that context and perspective along with ALL the truth strip you down and expose your agenda!
Truthguys read my blog view my photos
Mar 24, 2008 | 5:51 PM

Obama: get ready for Mass Destruction on the economy and military. Better learn Chinese.

Hillary: You better learn French

McCain: you better learn Spanisn
J_Darrowin read my blog view my photos
Mar 24, 2008 | 7:39 PM

It's gonna be a long, long four years....
Sageman read my blog
Mar 25, 2008 | 12:59 AM

Abunai - Bush didn't practice politics and honestly I don't blame him for a lot of what happened, only a fool would think he is not a Puppet.

So my blame really lies on policies and agenda's that took long time allies of our country and slapped them in the face. Bush pushed the, "we are America and if you don't agree with us you are against us." Anyone who didn't want to put troops into Iraq were declared, "persona non grata," which was uncalled for and cowardly. How American is it to say, "If you don't agree with us you're against us?"

I think in the next election Democrats are going to win by a landslide. Whether anything positive will come out of it, who knows. I for one am no fan of Obama or McCain and they look like the forerunners.

I'm a moderate, my politics are what I think are the best for people on the whole. I don't agree with the neo-republican, rich get richer (which is what the Iraq war on some level has become) nor do I agree with the Liberal's who want to bring the troops home regardless of the impact on the Iraqi people.

I think America has a responsibility to own up to its own precepts rather than be hypocritical and forget that all people have the right to the pursuit of happiness, justice for all, etc... you know what I'm getting at.

Where was the independent nominee in a year that he would have actually been a positive thing.
Sageman read my blog
Mar 25, 2008 | 1:03 AM

Oh yeah, I love how the ignorant play the lib card on anyone who disagrees with them. That's like saying I'm a bigot against anyone who disagrees with me.

It's the land of the free. Both the republicans and democrats need to stop insulting each other and actually talk the points.
myfreespeech read my blog
Mar 26, 2008 | 6:51 PM

Sageman you wonder about the Independents?
Well the media as usual didn't even mention any!
Those the two party idiots made sure the primary was screwed up by shuffling the dates and now are saying it wasn't their fault.
I think we need to elininate the stupid primary and have one election with all the candidates listed so we the voters couldselect our choice the two party system is way outdated and atiquated.
If you really think the democrats will win an a landslide I can get you a deal on a new water plant in the Sahara desert too.
Playing the lib card as you say is just what you are doing playing your card being an obvious democrat I wonder what generation you might be from been in any uniform at anytime drafted or otherwise??
Without the media and their biased reporters voters would maybe be able to decide for themselves if they took enought time to look at the candidates but today people are lazt listen to news casts and then are like sheep they go with the flow.
silverfox06 read my blog view my photos
Mar 28, 2008 | 1:48 PM

HAVE YOU ALL NOTICED HOW ALL THE NEWS MEDIA HAS BACKED OFF "OBAMA" NOW MOST ARE TREATING HIM AS IF HE WERE IN A BEAUTY PAGENT. AND HIS NEW MINISTER IS AS BAD AS "WRIGHT". I ASK YOU WHY ARE WE WALKING ON GLASS WITH THIS GUY????????????
TM6068 read my blog
Apr 1, 2008 | 6:22 AM

Silverfox - I agree...they're courting him like nobody's business...well, the shiny new penny seems to have some tarnish; Rev Wright and his own racist wife.

Hopefully, if he's nominated, the repubs campaign will blast him back to the ghetto he came from. He's deserving of nothing; an empty suit.
Sageman read my blog
Apr 3, 2008 | 12:03 AM

Independents always baffled me so no I don't wonder about them. I'm a moderate Democrat.

I'm for welfare reform. The system needs to focus less on hand outs and more on training welfare recipients for jobs that will support a family. You can't expect people to go out and work minimum wage and support their family for long.
I'm also for immigration reform (I don't agree with amnesty but some sort of work program is needed). Immigrants are a major part of our economy and people on both sides of the party line need to recognize the impact they have on our economy.

I'm also for tax reform, I think tax breaks need to be toned down from the rich and the difference needs to be attributed to the middle and lower middle classes. I know the whole argument, "The rich take their extra money and turn it around and reinvest it into jobs for more people." If this were working then I ask you to answer me this, why have, in the past 8 years, the rich been getting richer (it's a documented fact) while the unemployment has slowly risen? Why have a lot of major companies transfered the corporate bases over seas to avoid speculation in the US?

I think for me, none of the candidates fit the bill so I have to go with the lesser of the evils. I don't really know who that will be though. I like both McCain and Obama the same right now, which is not a whole lot to be honest.
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signal12

Im a blue collar worker, a Smoker & Social drinker. I've been a Native Floridian for 38 yrs.

Member Since: 12/20/2007


 

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