TavaresJim's Blog

WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY U.S. PRESIDENT, DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?

 
 
 

'My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of the Iraq regime has been completed.

Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.

This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now time to begin the reckoning.

Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short . The United Kingdom , Spain , Bulgaria , Australia , and Poland are some of the countries listed there.

The other list contains every one not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List also ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first yearalone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war. THEN EVERY YEAR ! THERE A FTER IT'll GO TO OUR SOCIAL SECURITY SYSTEM SO IT WONT GO BROKE IN 20 YEARS.

The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hell holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.

Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France .

In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you downand eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.

Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France or maybe China .

I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France , Germany , and Russia . Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well.

I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treatypertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York

A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 1 also. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change.

Mexico is also on List 2 its president and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra
thousand tanks and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put'em? Yep, border security.

Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now.

We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska- which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there.

It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, 'darn tootin'.

Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America . It is time to eliminate homelessness in America . To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thank you guys. We owe you and we won't forget.

To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak
Arabic.

After this week in the race for the White House I have to wonder just how far out of touch the canidates are with the average american. Obama advises parent to teach their kids spanish??? Maybe not a bad idea especially if you are unfortunate enough to live in Kissimmee or Deltona but not the kind of thing one says if he is trying to get your vote. Can anyone say Liberal Elite??? Then we have that Maverick McCain fresh off his trip to Latin America promoting free trade. Never mind losing that manufacturing job to a Mexico. Anyway who does McCain have as an economic adviser? That good old Texan Sen. Phil Graham. The same one who had a hand in bringing us Enron. Well Phil seems to think the economic downturn in this country is "a mental recession" and called the United States “a nation of whiners.”  Huh??? Let me ask Phil when the last time he had to check his checking account balance before filling up his limo with gas, or trying to fill up a shopping cart with groceries. He is right in one aspect though, we are doing plenty of whinning right now and its in large part due to boneheads like him who have screwed everything up!

With our economy going straight down the toilet you would think McCain and Obama would be using all the free media attention they are getting to outline just how they are going to "fix" things. I try and stay informed and I have yet to hear details come out of either canidate. Obama has the "run out the clock" plan going in full swing and he ain't saying squat. McCain is touring central & south america promoting Free Trade (huh)? One of the very things that has put us in this mess!!! What kind of knucklehead is running his campaign? Is McCain trying to lose votes? Please, someone share some ecouraging news with us concerning either canidate and what they will do when it comes to issues that really matter.

In these times of doom & gloom its all too easy to pick on Prez. Bush. Always the optimist, I have been racking my brain the past few days looking for anything in this country that has gotten better during Dubya's time in office. Now is the time to shine for you loyal Repubs. Please share with us any and all ways the good old US of A has benefited from having Bush. 

Right or wrong we are in Iraq. It has cost us plenty of dead and broken Americans. Do we just walk away or can we reverse a bad situation and realize a profit from this war?

I had the chance this evening to talk at length with a friend of ours who is an army col. that has spent a great deal of time in Iraq. He supports Bush like you would expect of any good officer but he is not a zealot. He tells me that overall things are improving over there. The general population have no idea how american style democracy works. They are very clanish and its tough for the average american to understand just how that effects how Iraqis think. They are growing very tired of the constant violence and just want it to end. In the beginning we were fighting Iraqi resistance. I thought about what if the roles were reversed. If Iraqis invaded Lake County I would be bearing arms against them and I would be more than willing to die defending Tavares. You can bet your BLEEP I would take alot of those swarmy bastards with me and I would be sure to let them know how I would be deflowering thier virgins in the afterlife! Anyway the good Col. says the majority of problems there are now caused by "outsiders" doing what fanatics willing to die for a cause do. This left me with still more questions. How many more American lives will it take to stabilize Iraq. Are we willing to do what it takes to achieve stablilty?

New estimates rate Iraqi oil potential much higher than was thought before. 10million barrels per day is what could be expected. The USA uses 20million barrels per day.  Current Iraqi GNP is estimated at $87billion.  Even at the cut rate of $50 per barrel there is the potential for $180billion + per year in oil revenues for Iraq. They could sure use that money. We need cheap oil for our economy to thrive. You want an economic stimulus? How about gas a $2 a gallon? It might take some strong-arming to lock up the rights and I don't know we we have the balls to do it. Cheap Iraqi oil would buy us time that we need to develop alternate energy sources if we really put forth the effort. I have no doubt we will come up with solutions that seem far off now. Zero Point Energy anyone?