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Laceyrose's Blog

by Laceyrose from Brevard county

Last Post 66 days, 5 hours Ago


When protecting a child from another state.
Jul 21, 2008 | 7:07 PM
Category: News
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I am a mother of a 7 yr old boy in fear of his biological father.  I am trying to protect him from the mental,& physical abuse and trauma that he went through at his biological father's and live in girlfriend's Apt.  Just because my custody took place in Massachusetts, the State of FLorida will do nothing to protect this child.  They tell me that if the father comes back for him I am to hand him over.  But if I do, they also tell me that charges can be brought against me for allowing such abuse to take place when knowing of it.  Not fair!  I have tried everything possible to protect my child.  He lives in fear of going back to his father.  I have him seeing a pyshcologist for his problems and how to cope with it all.  The Doctor called the child abuse hot line once my son told him of such things that happened to him by his father and girlfriend.  He did the right thing, but now DCF says they cannot protect my child.  And the state of Massachusetts seems to think what goes on with my child is ok.  I want to know what are the standards of child abuse when reported.  Meaning doesn't every state have the same guidelines to follow?  If not they should.  Child Abuse is child abuse!.  Look at the stories out there of the ones that don't get reported.  Those children end up missing, or dead, or living the life of hell.  SO if anyone out there knows of how to beat the system and protect a child from such horror, please let me know.  This little boy lives in fear.  But on a good note, DCF inverstigator says that she has no concerns about my son living with me and it would be in the best interest for him to reside with me and my husband. Seeing that he gets the care and attentionhe needs.  SO why can't they step in and do something?  Or give such info to the state the custody took Place.  My thought, if your job is to PROTECT THE CHILD, THEN DO JUST THAT.  That's what you get paid for no matter what state the child comes from.   Cause if my son has to go back and he ends up dead before he turns 8, I have a strong case against FLORIDA & the STate of MASSACHUSETTS for allowing this to happen and not listening to the child.  Or protecting him for that matter.  

The doctor is trying to help me in everyway protect my child. At least someone cares enough for the safety and well being of the child.  Sad part is, I also have another son that is siving with his biological father, same one, and going throught the same thing.  And he is head injuried and does not know what is being done to him is WRONG!

 

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Member Comments Total Comments: 18
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Ericjhach read my blog view my photos
Jul 21, 2008 | 9:40 PM

Just goes to show you and everyone else how stupid our government and the powers to be are.
Laceyrose read my blog
Jul 21, 2008 | 10:02 PM

Yes Robin I did have a similiar topic. But it stills goes on today. And I do not want to move back to Mass when I have established a home here with my new husband and have a house. As well as a little girl who is 19 mos old. If I had to go back to Mass to appear in court yes, But not to live there. My Ex is the type to sttalk and harass. His whole family is. And yet he was very abusive to me when married to him. And is still that way today. So I am doing all I can fromhere and hoping that someone in the system will do their job and what is best for the child(ren). And why should I have to move back there? Not to be harsh, but they tell you to protect your children and then in the same breathe, give them back to the abusive parent.
Oryguncb read my blog view my photos
Jul 22, 2008 | 5:57 AM

Protect the child at all cost! Since DCF has been made aware of the suspected abuse you are covered. I would dare any court or jury to try to convict me for protecting my child from harm. But if anyone caused harm to any of my children, there would be no need for the justice system. Justice would come on swift wings, with no chance of parole.
80sMetalHead read my blog view my photos
Jul 22, 2008 | 7:14 AM

Go Oryguncb!! yeah!! I love your thinking!!!
Laceyrose, I agree..whatever it takes to protect your son. that's terrible that your ex has the other little boy with him.
Captain_Jim read my blog view my photos
Jul 22, 2008 | 8:26 AM

The problem is millions of mothers before you have told this exact same story as a lie to gain custody. This is the first story lawyers use against fathers and the main reason father's are pushed out of the picture when they are just as important to a child as a mother.

If this is true and not an attempt to gain custody the road should be fairly easy for you. Judges listen to people with letters behind their title. If a legit psychologist were to testify that the child's life is in danger you would walk out with exactly what you're seeking. A letter from this Dr would get you an emergancy hearing in a heartbeat. A DCF worker however saying nothing about the father but saying the child would be safe with you means nothing, and it should mean nothing.

I have to admit I have a real problem with your story when you are saying your child could end up dead, yet you don't want to move long enough to get this taken care of because your current husband and 19 month old live here. I have news for you... a 19 month old doesn't care where they live and neither does a parent if it means saving the life of their child. If the new hubbie has a problem seeing that then tough luck. Kids come first.
Laceyrose read my blog
Jul 22, 2008 | 9:30 AM

Captian Jim, I am not uprooting my little girl to another state so she does not see her father. CAnnot do that. But if I had to go to court for this I would. And I do have a DR.'s letter stating the conditioon of my son and the Dr. has it all on file what my son has told him has been done to him. Since the age of 5. It would make you cry when you heard such things. I did. And the Dr. was in shock as well. This is not an attempt to get custody, its a mother protecting her child from harm. AS for ending up dead, yes that could happen. I lived withthe man and he has made many attem=pts on me in front of the children. There are fathers who deserve to have the children more than the mothers, but in this case, not so. All this has been recorded on Police report by my child and to DCF. They say if the child is the one to say it they have to listen. But if I was to report it, its trying to get custody. Just stories. Well I listen to my child. And he lives in fear of going back to such harm. I have been trying for 3 years to get someone to listen to me but the system in each state is different on abuse. Would you take your child's face and oush it into the toilet to clean his undies if he had an accident? Just curious. And do this when he is 5 yrs old. And hold it there, forcefully!
Thats one thing he had done to him mmany of times. Just so you know.
BornToBeWild read my blog view my photos
Jul 22, 2008 | 11:28 AM

The only defence you could have on this kind of thing is reported incidents of the abuse on the father....records filed shows you attempted help and protection. But if you did nothing then you are saying you knew yet did nothing about placing that child in knowing abusive situations. The law is there for a reason! It is your responsibility to keep your child from harm and make sure you have some paperwork to prove it makes your strongest case!
Laceyrose read my blog
Jul 22, 2008 | 11:55 AM

Well it has been decided by DCF here in FLorida and DSS in MAssachusetts, that is ok to return the child back to the home of abuse. How do I tell my son he has to go back? I should make DCF do it and let them deal with his anger and response. Cause he will freak out. The system does not protect, they just get paid to do investigations for the sake of making it look good. My heart is broken and I am sick over this whole thing. No one cares for the safety and well being of the child or children. AMAZING! Even the words of a professional DR. Psychologist is not good enough. What have I done wrong to help my child?
80sMetalHead read my blog view my photos
Jul 22, 2008 | 12:17 PM

but what about the other child? Couldn't you help him more if you were there? Just curious.
Laceyrose read my blog
Jul 22, 2008 | 1:34 PM

I could help my other child more yes. But my Ex has lied and manipulated the courts in every way about me. And said thing is they listen to his lies, and won't even give me a chance to say my side.
BornToBeWild read my blog view my photos
Jul 22, 2008 | 6:42 PM

Did you infact report any abuse done with pictures showing the marks of abuse on that child? If not then anything you say is only hear say with back up!
BornToBeWild read my blog view my photos
Jul 22, 2008 | 6:46 PM

The only advice I can give you is make notes of every abusive conversation with your X (recorded if posible). Every time you see any marks on that child take a picture of it, report it, and make notes on what that child tells you of the incidence on how he got those or that mark. The proof is on you to prove anything following the judgment. Then and only then can you get things reversed.
Sageman read my blog
Jul 22, 2008 | 7:19 PM

Child custody battles are difficult and not always easy for either side. The fact is that unless physical evidence of abuse exists it becomes a "he said, she said" kind of thing.

First thing I would have hoped you had done was consulted a Lawyer because I haven't seen you note retaining one here at all. That would have been your primary concern. Family court is more difficult than criminal court to understand these days and having a qualified lawyer is the only way to navigate the system and survive. If your husband has council and you don't, then that alone can explain the situation you are in.

I hope that things are resolved in the best way for the child involved. If what you say is true then you should do whatever in your power to see to it that your child is put into your permanent custody. That means talking to a Lawyer and seeing what options are open to you. If you can't afford a Lawyer there are several Legal Aid Clinics in the Orlando area.
80sMetalHead read my blog view my photos
Jul 22, 2008 | 7:41 PM

How old is the other boy?
Captain_Jim read my blog view my photos
Jul 22, 2008 | 8:08 PM

According to you this child's life is in danger, yet you don't want to uproot a 19 month old. I really don't mean to be disrespectful if it's coming across like that. It's just that you're playing both sides of the coin. Either the child's life isn't in as much danger as you say and you're putting the life style of a 19 month old ahead of the life of your other child, or your child's life isn't in quite as much peril as you've made it out to be. Something doesn't make sense.

One other thing... if your son's life were truly in danger a psychologist by law would have to report this to the police, not an abuse hotline, and the police would be forced to take action.

Ok, I suppose there's one more thing... you have another son also going through the same situation but this son is older. Honestly it sounds more like one parent not moving on and wanting to disrupt the life of another. I hope that's not the case but this thing has more leaks than a holy bucket.

Again, if there is truly abuse your DCF friend and your doctor are more than enough help to temporarily give you full custody and deny visitation. The fact that they haven't done this tells me something, or more importantly should tell you something. Sounds a bit bi polar.
Laceyrose read my blog
Jul 23, 2008 | 9:29 AM

Captian Jim, the psychologist did report it to the abuse hotline and the police were notified, thank you. They took a report from my child of what happened to him with his biological father.
As for having a lawyer, I have consulted withmany lawyers in both states and they say I am doing the right thing, but its the court system that says different. Don't the lawyers and the cours follow the same laws and rules? Guess not.
And I was also told that my youngest son is safe as long as he is in Florida, so if I go back to Mass, he is in danger and not safe. Not am I. I amnot putting my 19 mo. old ahead of myother children, I am doing what I have been told by lawyers and the psychologist, just so you know.
I have moved on, but my EX uses the kids as a way to hurt me. He got totally P O'd when I left him. I tried taking the kids with me when I left due to the abuse I was getting, and thats what the courts would tell you. WHy didn't you leave with your children if he was abusing you? I tried and guess what? Now the courts say I did wrong. I don't get the system anymore. Protect your children, leave your abuser, don't stay if your dealing with domestic violence thats what they say, but yet do just that, and they go against you. Amazing the systemwe have.
SO yes you may have come across disrespectful, but I am not posting my whole history of abuse that I lived with my EX nor what he has done to my children. I did bring police reports to show what he has done to me, and againm the courts gave him custody. WHY? CAuse they wanted to see if he could be a single pa
YBSRobin read my blog
Jul 23, 2008 | 10:31 AM

I am sorry but I agree with Captain Jim. We know our judicial system has it's faults, but if you have proof, that over turns many decisions. Since the story is one sided, no one can really give you the help you're looking for as you seem to have an excuse for every answer. All I know is, if my child was in another State going through harm, you'd bet I'd be there in heart beat fighting for what's right, even showing proof of my allegations to the media if I had to. Otherwise it sounds like you are making excuses and want to blame it on the "system." If these reports exist stating your child is in danger, most likely to die if continuing being with their father, then the Police would do something about it. I am sorry to hear that you have been abused, but it almost sounds like you are psychologically abusing your child as well.
Laceyrose read my blog
Jul 23, 2008 | 11:54 AM

Well I can see that all of you are putting the blame on me. If you are that concerned why I am not in the other state fighting, its called money issues. If you all want to donate the $5000-10,000. it will cost, then fine. But I am not Donald Trump and can't just pull thousands out of my pocket.
I do have the proof and thats what I have been sending the courts. Let them do the research and investigating if they think I am what you people say, LYING or making excuses. . It just amazes me that it is ok for a mother not to report her child missing for 31 days, Cayalee Story, but a mother trying to protect her child and for that I GET ThAT I AM THE BAD PARENT. Thanks alot.
And it is the system that fails many of the good parents and the children who need the protecting. I have read the paper and many stories go unreported. Like the DCF worker in Fort Myers, she never reported the sexual abuse case she was investigating and that child had something bad happen to her and that DCF worker lost her job. Explain that one. Thats what I mean by the system fails inmany ways. DO the job you get paid for.
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Laceyrose

I am a mother who loves her children. I also want wants best for them and that includes protecting them. I enjoy outings with my family and making memories to scrapbook as well.

Member Since: 5/8/2008


 

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