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Laceyrose's Blog

by Laceyrose from Brevard county

Last Post 11 days Ago


protecting a child
Jun 4, 2008 | 7:40 PM
Category: News
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Does anyone out there see it right for a court system to not protect a child from an abusive parent?  I am doing my best in just that for my 7 yr old son who has been through such trauma, neglect and abuse with his biological father.  And the courts here in Florida will not help me nor my son.  As well as the courts in Massachusetts.  What is this system coming to?  Protect the child(ren) fromthose who hurt them not give them back to deal with the abuse at such a young age.    
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Member Comments Total Comments: 15
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Truthguys read my blog view my photos
Jun 4, 2008 | 9:16 PM

Dr Phil had a show on fat kids and he threatened to call the Authoritys if the fat mother doesnt help the 300 pound 13 year old. On of the acheiles heal of Florida ( Jeb and Crist) is our Children Protective services.... they are overworked and inept. Can you tell us more what is going on..? email me privatly if you cant. Maybe I can help.
Captain_Jim read my blog view my photos
Jun 5, 2008 | 7:49 AM

The problem isn't necessarily the courts. The problem is with those who have abused the courts and created this problem. The first thing most women do in a custody case is make false claims against the father in order to gain custody. If we truly want to protect our children then we need to give the system some teeth and allow them to severely punish those who lie, cheat, and attempt to manipulate the system.
DeborahLakeHelen read my blog view my photos
Jun 5, 2008 | 8:12 AM

Document, document, document. Take pictures, record conversations (even if they may be inadmissible in court), get NOTORIZED statements from family members, friends and neighbors, Keep track of every little thing, and don't give up. Get an attorney (MANY will take your case Pro-Bono) and repetition the courts. If your claims are valid, and you have proof, you will be heard, and the appropriate action will be taken.
PegasusWing read my blog view my photos
Jun 5, 2008 | 8:13 AM

A seven year old should be able to communicate to a court approved psychiatrist the abuse.
DCF has some excellent people working for them. There are a few air heads, but they are easy to spot.
Still the system makes grevious errors. That is why when the abuse is extreme so mothers just take the kids and run. Maybe a lawyer referral service can find someone to help pro bono if you can't afford it.
Judges are lawyers too and they all talk lawyer talk and some judges speak no other language, so a good lawyer may make the differrence.
Good Luck.
Parenting is the one job on earth that we are not allowed to fail.
YBSRobin read my blog
Jun 5, 2008 | 8:42 AM

I agree Pegasus, a 7 year old should be able to communicate, however most children do not because of being scared as the system does not protect them when they walk out of the courthouse.

LaceyRose, every time you pick up your child and you feel he is hurt in anyway, take him to the hospital and file a police report if the hospital has any findings of actual abuse being done. If you feel something has been done and do anything about it, then you can't claim abuse after the fact as it will appear as if you are being spiteful. However, if the hospital finds no abuse on this child, then they may come back to you and question your judgement on mental abuse on this child depending on how many times you take him to the hospital, so in that aspect, make sure your judgement is right before you subject your child to all sorts of testing. I have seen too many women use their children as a pawn in the middle of a divorce. I truly hope for this child's sake that this is not happening to him. If not, and you do end up with reports of abuse from the hospital, then you should have a solid case. If your son is not wanting to go to with his father, then call the police dept and ask what you should do and inform them of the situation and see what they say? But if you have no hospital, doctor's, and/or prior police reports, and/or your child is not throwing any type of temper tantrum when it's time to see his father, then what you could consider being abuse and neglect is just simply the difference in the way your child is being cared for when he is not with you. Good luck to you and y
YBSRobin read my blog
Jun 5, 2008 | 8:43 AM

Good luck to you and your child, I hope all works out for the best.
YBSRobin read my blog
Jun 5, 2008 | 8:46 AM

"and do anything" correction "do nothing"
Laceyrose read my blog
Jun 5, 2008 | 10:48 AM

Like I said, I am a mother trying to protect her son from abuse, neglect, and trauma brought on by his biological father as well as the live in girlfriend. I have been taking my son to a psychologist to get treatment for his problems. It is there that he made it clear to the Dr. what was taking place with him at his dads. He has admitted that he is a afraid of his biological father. And when he hears that he is on the phone he runs and hides, and his attitude changes to the worse. In fear that he is going to go back to that abusive situaion again. For example, I don't think it is ok to put a 5 yr old boy, (at the time) in diapers cause he had an accident in his pants. Then send him to school that way for 3 days. DO you? There is more details and proof but to much to write here.
YBSRobin read my blog
Jun 5, 2008 | 11:16 AM

Actually it sounds like you have all the proof you need. Try to get all of the medical notes you can and talk to CPS, maybe that will help.
TAllen read my blog view my photos
Jun 5, 2008 | 11:22 AM

Lacey, Deborah is right...Document EVERYTHING. Keep a journal and write down times dates and events. Find a good attorney that you feel you can trust, and your son can trust. AND listen to your son! He really is the only one who KNOWS what is going on and regardless of his age he will tell you if he feels you BELIEVE HIM and he can TRUST YOU. Don't make the mistake many women make either of talking bad in front of the boy or to him about his Dad. Keep it civil so that they can never say you were feeding the child and THAT is what he is recalling.

Its alway nasty when these kinds of things happen but YOU are his strength right now. There are several support groups out there you may want to find one you can join and let them help you deal with the stress you will be facing.

And Deb cause I know this is you specialty...would the Advocate program help here??

Just don't give up Lacey...seems as if this little boy has a GOOD MOM on his side and that is worth a thousand fights!
Laceyrose read my blog
Jun 5, 2008 | 11:55 AM

Thnkas everyone for your advice and support. I have been documenting eveything my child tells me. And the Dr. once he gets a bit more info from my son, is going to file a report against my ex for the abuse made known to him and from what I have been told, can open a dependency case. My main concern is that my 11 yr old son still resides with the father and goes through the same things. He is had injuried and does not know what is being doen to him is bad. Do you all think this may help me in helping him too.?
YBSRobin read my blog
Jun 5, 2008 | 4:23 PM

I am not a lawyer, but with friends that have gone through the similar situation as you are now going through, I can at least share some words of wisdom from their experiences. Yes, if your 11 year old has gone through the same abuse, you should be able to subpoena those medical reports as well. A diary is good, however, if it's not supported by medical evidence, it does you no good in the court of law, in fact in could work against you by the other party possibly stating if you've seen the abuse, and just noted only, they will ask where are the medical reports and if you have none, it will more than likely make it seem you are making it up, so be careful with diaries as well. With a diary, it still becomes one word against another. Unfortunately in today's time, one has to become aggressive and pro-active to protect their children and have the documentation in hand to support what's going on. The reason I stated you may have to subpoena the records of your 11 year old is because it sounds like even though you're his mother, you're not his legal guardian if he resides with his father. The reports may show that there is a pattern to the way the Father is treating your children in showing that they are continuously getting hurt. With the medical records you can get now with your current son, I would take those to Child Protective Services and have a meeting with them to see what your rights are and what you are allowed to do. Perhaps they know of a way to where you can get a hold of your 11 year old's record. If a pattern can be established and the records support what y
YBSRobin read my blog
Jun 5, 2008 | 4:24 PM

cont'd

If a pattern can be established and the records support what you are stating, then Child Protective Services will have no choice but to help you. And it's possible they can give you information on obtaining a lawyer if you don't already have one. I am sorry to hear your children are going through such pain. I truly hope things work out quickly for the sake of you and your children.
candyaquino read my blog view my photos
Jun 6, 2008 | 3:43 PM

Laceyrose...I feel so badly for your children as well as sympathize with all that you are going through but I have to agreed with what YBSRobin is saying here and certainly PLEASE GET YOURSELF AN ATTORNEY. Unfortunately this is Florida and the wet mentality is on the grapevines....it is sad. I've seen too many cases like this and it is unfortunate that if you don't subpoena the records or have medical evidence it may be turned against you, as to if you knew this "why didn't you act on it" BE CAREFUL..I AM DEFINATELY NO LAWYER AND CAN'T GIVE OUT ANY LEGAL ADVICE..BUT I CAN SAY..PLEASE GET LEGAL HELP.....call the Floridabar Association....they can give you referrals immediately. BEST OF LUCK TO YOU AND GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN.....as to the recording of conversations, I would personally do it....but I don't think it would uphold in the courtroom. THIS STATE IS BONKERS......and no protection to our children so sad. God Bless
YBSRobin read my blog
Jun 6, 2008 | 4:11 PM

As noted above, be careful when people tell you to: quote "record conversations (even if they may be inadmissible in court)," - end quote

This site may help you in determining whether or not you should tape a conversation. In the State of Florida it is illegal. I provided this site to help you be careful of what you do. The last thing you want to do is break any laws and loose at any type of opportunity you are seeking in grounds of obtaining custody of your children. Before you do anything, obtain your medical records and see a representative of Child Protective Services so that you can remain legally within your rights. We all get angry and want to do "this and that" right away, however, everyone still has to follow the laws accordingly. So please be careful and I pray you find the help you need.

Florida / www.rcfp.org/taping/states/florida.html

There are 12 States that require both party consent and I stated it for you as follows:

There are twelve states that require all party consent. They are:


California
Connecticut
Delaware
Florida
Illinois
Maryland
Massachusetts
Michigan
Montana
New Hampshire
Pennsylvania
Washington
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Laceyrose

I am a mother who loves her children. I also want wants best for them and that includes protecting them. I enjoy outings with my family and making memories to scrapbook as well.

Member Since: 5/8/2008


 

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