Gabe Newman's Blog

So, I haven't felt much like writing lately.  It's not that I haven't run across good material.  It's just that when I sit down at the keyboard after working at the Rollery, for less than slaves wages, I'm tired.  Plus, all this bike riding is making me tired too.  But, I had to post this latest encounter as it was nearly unbelievable.

I went to the bar after work the other night.  It was a couple of hours before closing time.  It was a light crowd, as it was a Monday night, but there was one guy sitting at the bar in front of Tony the bartender.  He was wasted, but as soon as I approached the bar, he asked what I was drinking and offered to buy me a drink.  Of course, I obliged him and then tried to strike up a conversation, but this guy was so obliterated he could barely form words.  The next thing I knew his head was on the bar and he was out like a light.

Tony told me he had been buying people drinks during his whole shift and he was already here when he came on for his shift at ten o'clock. Whenever someone would approach the bar he would ask what he or she was having, and buy them a drink as well as one for himself.  So, you can imagine how he got to be in the condition he was. 

Tony woke him up enough to get him to close his ticket, as it was time for last call.  It was a two-hundred dollar tab, and as he scribbled his signature on the receipt, I noticed he also tipped Tony a hundred bucks!  Tony tried to tell the guy not to do that, but he insisted and then laid his head back on the bar.

It was time to go home, but this guy was still here and he wasn't moving.  I suggested he call him a cab, and let them take him home.  Tony felt like he should do more than that for a hundred dollar tip, and looked for his address in his wallet on his drivers license to figure out where he lived, if indeed it was the correct address.  He asked me if I would help get the guy to the cab, and then ride with him to the address and get him home.  I was buzzing pretty good by that time myself, but I agreed, and off we went. 

I mean, it was ridiculous!  The guy couldn't even stand up as we lifted him from the bar stool putting his arms around our necks and hoisting up with full dead weight.  He couldn't keep a grip, and he kept slipping from our grasp and we dropped him a couple of times before we finally made it to the cab, but we got there. 

So, in the cab we got, and off we went arriving at the address within just a few minutes as it wasn't far.  I thought we would just drop him off on the porch, as it was a nice night anyway, but Tony wanted to knock on the door to see if someone was home.  So, we did.

The light came on, and a woman came to the door in her PJ's, startled for a moment.

Tony annoucned, "We have George here.  He just had a little too much to drink tonight, and he was such a good customer, we thought we'd help him home."

The woman exclaimed, "That's fine and thank you very much.  I don't know why he does this, but can you tell me one thing...  where's his wheelchair?"

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