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Alexis_Brito's Blog

by Alexis_Brito from Lake Mary, FL

Last Post 3 days, 4 hours Ago


"No es lo mismo, una coqueta vieja, que una vieja coqueta."

"No es lo mismo, la comoda de tu hermana que acomodame a tu hermana"

y los otros de los digo en persona, ja ja ja..

These are just funny latin jokes, they can't really be translated.

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Member Comments Total Comments: 30
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NeZe read my blog view my photos
May 8, 2008 | 10:25 AM

Here's one more for Candy:

"No es lo mismo en el rio Mississippi que me hice pipi en el rio" - Ji, ji, ji!

You are correct, Alexis. These would not make sense if translated.

I remember saying a lot of these jokes when I was in school, but you just brought back memories! - LOL

Gammies61 read my blog view my photos
May 8, 2008 | 11:05 AM

to swim are lo mismo , in one coqueta vieja , and in one vieja coqueta. " " to swim are lo mismo la comoda about you hermana and acomodame a you hermana " y los otros about los digo behold actor's mask ja ja ja.

Gammies61 read my blog view my photos
May 8, 2008 | 11:05 AM

To swim are lo mismo behold el rio Mississippi and me hice to chirp behold el rio " Ji ji ji!

candyaquino read my blog view my photos
May 8, 2008 | 11:07 AM

this is just tooooooo funny......NO you didn't Alexis......oooh boy are we going to get in trouble.....

Gammies I am proud of you......thanks for being so cheerful

Neze..never heard of that one......THAT'S HYSTERICAL.......

WELL....here's mine version:

NO ES LO MISMO TUBERCULOSO..........QUE VER TU CULO............hahahhahhahhah

Gammies61 read my blog view my photos
May 8, 2008 | 11:07 AM

You are both right. Some hilarious reading!

CANDY! Where are you? You are missing some funny stuff! LOL

candyaquino read my blog view my photos
May 8, 2008 | 11:09 AM

here's one for everybody:

If you are in the kitchen - you are Italian
If you are in the livingroom - you are American
If you are in the bathroom --- Eu ro pean......

Gammies61 read my blog view my photos
May 8, 2008 | 11:14 AM

LOL

I must be 1/2 Italian, and 1/2 American, my kitchen is my living room. Thank God I didn't combine my bathroom, too. Yuck!

candyaquino read my blog view my photos
May 8, 2008 | 12:11 PM

why did the mexican guy want to push his wife off the roof...............

HE WANT TE QUIL LA...hahahhahahha

How do you spot a jewish at a football game?

He's the one yelling GET THE QUARTER BACK.......

O.k. I have many jewish friends so they are not offended......its a joke peoople..

candyaquino read my blog view my photos
May 8, 2008 | 12:13 PM

ok..Gammies.......How do you say Refridgerator in Italian?

ICE A BOX..........lol

How do you say Gorilla in Italian.....

A bigga monkey........lol

Gammies61 read my blog view my photos
May 8, 2008 | 12:19 PM

A bigga monkey. LOL I would hope no one would be offended, but I'm sure some are. It's a PC world. We have to live in it. Oh well!

NeZe read my blog view my photos
May 8, 2008 | 2:09 PM

ROFLOL ~

My son told me this one when he was in elementary school:

Where does the General keep his Armies??

In his sleevies!! - LOL LOL LOL

I remember laughing so hard that I even got teary eyed!!

LOL

candyaquino read my blog view my photos
May 8, 2008 | 3:44 PM

LOLLL.NeZe...wait my son almost had me cracked up when told me why did the boy throw the marjorine out the window..because he wanted to see the butter fly...........

YOUR MOMMA IS SO DUMB......SHE WENT TO PAY THE PHONE BILL........at Taco bell......lalallahahahahhhahhaa

hwayoutaline read my blog
May 8, 2008 | 10:49 PM

What do you call a mexican with a rubber toe?
Give up?
Roberto!
Love the Fox 35 Sand Box!

Alexis_Brito read my blog
May 9, 2008 | 3:30 AM

hwayoataline: that is priceless.. I love it

Gammies61 read my blog view my photos
May 9, 2008 | 9:31 AM

Country guy goes to a fancy restaurant. He orders, and the waiter brings him his food. Later, the waiter returns to the table, and ask, "How did you find your steak?"
The country guy answers, "I just looked under them taters, and there it was."

80sMetalHead read my blog view my photos
May 9, 2008 | 10:55 AM

roflmao! hwayoutaline, that's classic!!!

candyaquino read my blog view my photos
May 9, 2008 | 12:56 PM

Gammies....I didn't know you had in you...lol..

and I gotta admit...hywayoataline..THAT WAS UNIQUE.......

ok..what do you get when a mexican marries a cuban (my friend is married)? A CU-TEX...lol..and not for your ears only...

candyaquino read my blog view my photos
May 9, 2008 | 12:58 PM

the teacher asked the class to use the word CALCULATOR in a sentence..

Mary said: when I go shopping with my mother I use a calculator to help figure out the costs..very good the teacher said.

Larry: When I do my math homework I use calculator for the difficult problems.. very good the teacher said. Hesitant to see what Pepito was going to say she ask him

Pepito said: When I go home after school, my mamita she makes rice and beans with carne frita and I eat it all up then I do CA CA LATOR............hhahahahahahhahaha

RNC08 read my blog view my photos
May 9, 2008 | 1:50 PM

Naw you are not going to get in trouble , if anyone was going to complain it would probably be me...but in spite of mis caricaturisation of my opposition to “down blending” of language . I see no reason to object to this at all....with the exception of the use of spanglish to make a point , if you are coaching Gam because she is not proficient in Spanish fine but if you need to express a thought in half of one and half of another language I worry about a denigration of both ! I roll my eyes when I find young people who can't communicate in ether language and are forced to use words from both all the time...I recently watched a young black woman working in burger king trying to make an order and three people had to walk over and help out with the translation !...this poor girl is not “bilingual” she is illiterate in two languages.

hwayoutaline read my blog
May 9, 2008 | 5:42 PM

Thank you Alexis,80sMetalHeadand candy,I have one more,A Mexican was asked to use the words green,pink and yellow in a sentence,he said oh thats easy, the telephone goes green green green,i pink up the phone and say yellow!ya'll have a fantastic weekend!

MacMarine read my blog
May 12, 2008 | 6:51 AM

A Birch tree and a BEECH tree asked each other about a young tree between them... Is that a Baby Birch or baby Beech?

Neither knew so they asked Brother woodpecker.

Is it a Birch or Beech tree?

Woodpecker goes and does his "thing".

"Don't know about that BUT it's the BEST ASH I ever had my pecker in"

As Larry the Cable guy says....

Now THAT'S Funny ! lol

Hope it doesn't get banned!

candyaquino read my blog view my photos
May 12, 2008 | 11:31 AM

RNC08.....you are too funny..but ya know..that appears to be a great problem WITH MCDONALDS...and perhaps THAT'S WHY NO ONE IS GETTING THEIR ORDERS ......correctly.......would you like a fountain soda........when asked for a Coke...WELL i'd be darn........

candyaquino read my blog view my photos
May 12, 2008 | 11:36 AM

I just got word..they have changed the Cuban National AThem.......to ROW ROW YOUR BOAT GENTLY DOWN THE STREAMS......merrily merrily ....ahhahahhahaa.........Ok...this woman comes to visit the U.S. from Cuba..so she gets on the bus and starts moving towards the rear of the bus ....so they bus driver asked her "hey lady put the money in the fair" the woman turns around very upset and tells the driver "que tu dice - que soy pPuta y vieja" the driver responded "lady what are you talking about"......the woman now utterly upsets tells the driver " que tambien me va a tocar a bajo".......and she ran out of the bus............AAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA

Sageman read my blog
May 13, 2008 | 3:27 AM

Spanglish is the natural progression of what happens when to languages mix. You have kids today who are speaking both you are bound to see them both mix.

I don't really understand them entirely myself and I read spanish a lot better than I can speak it.

I don't think a lot of latinos are aware that some gringo's understand spanish. I was in the line trying to use my credit card and the machine wouldn't accept my card. The Latino behind me said basically "El pendejo blanco!" (I only understand about 60% of what people say to me in spanish) and the cashier who was Latina laughed with him thinking it was funny. He followed up with some other choice words one which assumed I was the son of a stupid BLEEP.

I went and told the store manager I had just been called a white a**hole and the other stuff the man had said all because the credit card machine wouldn't accept my card. I also told him I didn't think it was appropriate for the cashier to be laughing along with him. He took the cashier aside and I left the store. I found out the next day they fired her. I felt kind of bad but it proves a point, don't assume people don't understand what you are saying. I lived in South and Central America for almost two years. I may not speak Spanish well, but I do know when I'm being insulted lol.

Alexis_Brito read my blog
May 13, 2008 | 7:25 AM

Sageman, interesting, it is true.. you never know who is around you.. there are words in spanish that may sound offensive in English.. are you sure though the man said Blanco or Banco? One is the white the other is bank maybe he was saying the damm bank.. but I was not there.. but definately the cashier must respect the client, can't offend people.. no one should offend no one..

candyaquino read my blog view my photos
May 13, 2008 | 9:50 AM

hey Sageman don't feel bad......I had people think I am A DAM IMMIGRANT and said some trash in English.........but I just turned around and told to go BLEEP themselves and so and so forth.......yep........you never know who may be around........that's why I DON'T TAKE ANYTHING OR ANYONE FOR GRANTED.........though I have cuss a million times in these blogs.....I HAVE NEVER insulted anyone directly that didn't say something idiotic and/or offensive to me......pay with the same coin..........pagar con la misma moneda......is my motto now......and I WILL HAVE MY FREEDOM OF SPEECH..........I AM AN AMERICAN........CUBAN NATIVE........WHO LOVES PEOPLE.......and what happened to the cashier WAS DESERVING.........and inappropriate......

80sMetalHead read my blog view my photos
May 13, 2008 | 10:02 AM

lol candy. Sageman, I've busted people like that a lot. I don't look like I speak Spanish flkuently. My mom is American and I look much more like her than like my cuban father. I wait for people to open their big mouths and then I let them have it in perfect Spanish.

candyaquino read my blog view my photos
May 13, 2008 | 10:09 AM

lol..80smetalhead...I remember during high school..many thought I was Puerto Rican..cause I guess I don't act Cuban..whatever!!! anyways this guy was trying to rap..(oh gosh that's old) to me..and he started bashing cubans don't know why BUT i went along with him..yes they are come mierdas..blah blah..at the end of the long boring conversation he asked me WHAT PART OF PUERTO RICO I WAS FROM.....and I responded SANTIAGO DE CUBA HIJO DE LA .&&^%$$ he looked so bewildered it was funny.....I still remember that and I still remember today many of friends didn't want to believe I was Cuban..lol...and when I am around Italians..you can't tell UNLESS I OPEN MY DAM MOUTH......its just funny...HECK I EVEN GOT CARD.....at the Santana concert...was I blushing or what!!!!...dam that girl made me feel so young..........lmao

Sageman read my blog
May 14, 2008 | 7:15 PM

I really never thought about "banco" and "blanco" being similar till you stated it. I called the store and asked the manager and he stated the cashier had confirmed he said "blanco."

On a lighter note I think you do an awesome job reporting on Fox 35. Keep up the great work.

Alexis_Brito read my blog
May 16, 2008 | 9:57 AM

Hi Sageman,
Im glad you did that.. well if she said Blanco, well may she find a job where she doesn't have to speak to people that is wrong... I hate that.. I too had someone fired, but I made that woman say I am sorry on camera then be fired.. it was great...

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Alexis_Brito

Hola everyone, I have been back in Florida for almost a year now, and it is great to be back and part of the FOX 35 News Team. I am amazed of how many people remember me from when I was a National/International Reporter for Telemundo Network... For nine years I was assigned to New York and Puerto Rico... But what is even more interesting is that I met a woman from South Africa and a gentlemen from Russia who knew who I was. They remembered me from the Network show I was on, then I remembered it was such a popular show (a spanish dateline) it was sold to other countries, 25 to be exact and translated to their corresponding languages.. Before FOX 35, I was the main News Anchor at Univision 23 / Dallas, Texas. It was a great experience being a part of a team that became the number one news station in that market... Well I hope to hear from you, share your thoughts and ideas... SALUDOS A TODOS =)... Alexis

Member Since: 2/15/2007